Nicole & John


Dear Birthparents,

We are so thankful that you have chosen to read our book. We can only imagine the emotions that you are experiencing right now; the love that you have for your baby and the strength that you have to share them with a loving family. What a beautiful beginning this baby will have as you help them on their way to a life of happiness, adventure and love.

Our Story

We met 12 years ago through mutual friends, but it wasn’t until a year later that we became a couple. During that time, we were both living in Los Angeles and had separate plans to move out of Southern California. In the coming months, those separate plans became one plan of moving to Oregon, this is when we became known as a team.

After arriving and getting settled for a couple of years, we decided to get married. On a warm, September day, with our closest friends and family, we were married in our friend’s backyard. Our wedding was followed by a casual reception at the park with a Mexican buffet, a bouncy slide, a simple cake, and many friends. It was a great time! Over the next few years, we became more involved in our careers as an accountant and a teacher.

At this point, we decided to start a family and immediately became pregnant with Xander. It was a joy to share in being pregnant, as we always assumed that we would make a baby and adopt a baby. After Xander was born in 2012, we pursued the adoption process through the state, knowing that it could take around two years. After a year in the process, we began to feel frustrated with the system and the lack of support and we stopped trying to adopt. We thought that maybe we should just try to have another baby because we really wanted Xander to have a brother or sister. Unfortunately, we ended up miscarrying twice.

After so much grief, we talked about it and decided to go back to our original plan, which we had always wanted, and began the adoption process again. We have never been more committed to adopting than we are now. We have been through many tough times together, and believe that marriage is a job and that we must work at it all the time. It has been 14 years consisting of careers, school, adventures, parenting, laughing and love that we have shared together. We look forward to adding another little person to our family to share in these moments and be a part of our family.

Our Home

We moved into our home four years ago. It has everything we need and more and we are happy to be here. We live on a cul de sac and have the most wonderful neighbors. There are many other families and small children that live close by and Xander plays with them often. It has been great to live close to so many caring individuals that are great role models for kindness. We are so lucky to have found such a fantastic community to raise a family.

In the summer, Xander goes on many adventures with Nicole to the new library, community pool, the many parks in our area and the zoo. They also enjoy the Children’s museum, OMSI, the splash parks, the nickel arcade and feeding the sheep in our neighborhood.

Our Family and Friends

We are very close with our families and have friends all over the country. Only a few minutes from our house live John’s parents and Nicole’s mom. Xander spends at least one afternoon in their care a week so he can have special time with them. He often also has sleepovers at their house so that we can have a date night together.

As for our friends, though many of them live elsewhere, they are wonderful and we love spending time with their families. We do a beach trip each year with our friends who have a son and daughter and love Xander. We also visit our friends in California often and have even more experiences there.

Additionally, we collectively have 5 sisters. John’s two older sister’s live in Southern California, and we don’t seem them often. His younger sister just moved back to Portland and we see her once a week at family dinner night. Nicole’s sisters live in Central California and New York. We see them both once a year, but do a lot of Face Time and Skype with them. Xander is very connected to his extended family even though he is so far away. Currently, he has four cousins on Nicole’s side and eight cousins on John’s side, though most of them have already graduated from high school.

Nicole about John

John grew up in Southern California with his four sisters. After high school, he attended Cal Poly Pomona, where he received his bachelor’s degree in accounting. He has worked in this field for the last 18 years. He currently works at a small import/export lumber company as a CFO. When he is not working, John loves spending time with his family, catching up on the latest movies, watching baseball and dreaming up our next family vacation.

John is the best partner, and we are truly a team. We have many opposite ideas and views when it comes to life, but they allow us to live a balanced life together. He is a great provider for our family and is always coming up with ideas of how to make our lives easier, more fun and overall better. He is also a great father to Xander. They play all kinds of silly games together, are always building something and he is constantly making Xander laugh.

John about Nicole

Nicole grew up in Central California with her two sisters. After high school, she graduated from Cal State L.A. with her bachelor’s in Liberal Studies. Following this, she briefly pursued a career in job recruitment before returning to school at Portland State and getting her Masters of Education to become a teacher. She has been teaching for over seven years, and just recently became a principal at a small charter school.

I have come to realize that Nicole sees life as an opportunity to learn, and cannot wait to share all her knowledge with others. She is passionate about helping others, especially family and friends, and often gives all of her time and energy to anyone she feels may need a hand. She is an incredibly loving mother, and it is fun to watch “Mommy and Xander time.” This could include snuggling on the couch, or reading a variety of books from Minecraft to Moby Shinobi, before

bed. The best part of this is when they are winding down and they both have huge smiles on their faces from their special one-on-one time. Nicole is an amazing person who finds a way to be a wife, mother, sister, friend, teacher, and mentor all at the same time, and I cannot imagine my life without her.

About Xander

Xander is such an amazing child. He brings us joy and keeps us on our toes at all times. He has a kind heart and has wanted a sibling for many years. He is very sweet to babies and toddlers, including his newest cousins. He talks to them, sings to them and reads to them. Xander is a curious child, who asks questions about everything around him and loves learning. He started kindergarten this year at a bilingual immersion school and is currently learning Spanish. When he is not at school, you can find him building Legos, playing with Transformers or riding his scooter. He also loves to dance and has a unique fashion sense.

After reading this, we hope that you now have a sense of who we are as a family. As this process moves forward, we hope to stay connected to the birth parents and/or birth family. We understand that you may have your own wishes and needs over time and we hope to support those to the best of our abilities. We are also looking forward to sharing the baby’s special story with them as they grow up and learn about us, as well as you. We feel it is important for this child to understand your roots as well as ours as he or she develops their own identity in their lifetime. Thank you for taking the time to read our letter and best wishes to you. We hope we are able to meet with you soon.


John and Nicole

Tara Noftsier