Five Reasons to Foster Teens
Tyler, David and Natalie
Sometimes when people think about becoming foster parents, they imagine themselves helping younger children. Prospective foster parents might think that teenagers in foster care are hard to parent or may be troublemakers.
But it’s important to remember that teens are in foster care through no fault of their own, and they need the same support and love as younger children. What’s more: Fostering teens is particularly meaningful and offers its own unique rewards. Here are five reasons to consider opening your heart and your home to a teenager in foster care.
1. Teens are more self-sufficient.
Younger children often require hands-on help with daily tasks like eating, bathing, dressing and more. Experienced foster parents Natalie and David Shin chose to foster teens in part because they believed a teenager would fit more easily into their lives. All foster youth require supervision and care, but young children can often bring about larger life and schedule changes that can be difficult for working adults.
2. You can make a significant impact on a teenager’s life.
Serving teens is meaningful because of the time in their lives that you spend with them. “Fostering teens is a way to help them prepare for the next phase of their lives, to give them the tools to thrive as adults,” Natalie said.
Some people think that caring adults can make the greatest impact with young children, but teenagers also need attention and affection, and can learn from adults in their lives.
“Fostering teens isn’t as intimidating as it sounds,” Natalie continued. “With any foster child, there may be past trauma, but with teenagers, there is the ability to process their emotions.”
“It takes just one person to be a role model for a teenager, to model trust and healthy relationships,” said Cynthia Molina, Program Director of The Neighborhood, a foster program at Boys & Girls Aid serving teenagers. Particularly for older children who may eventually be exiting the foster care system to independent living, “You can show them that someone cares, that someone has their back.”
3. You can share life experiences and make deep connections with teenagers.
Jen and Chad Stonier, experienced foster parents who have lived with children of all ages, prefer to foster teens. “They’re great – they are at a midpoint in their lives between childhood and adulthood,” Jen said, “They are self-aware and cognizant of their situation and circumstances.”
“We’ve had wonderful experiences,” Jen said of her time fostering teens. “You can get to know teenagers, find common interests, and talk about their life and your life.”
Samantha Luchtenburg, Program Coordinator of The Neighborhood, agrees. “Teenagers can talk with you; they have their own opinions,” she said. “You can have good conversations with them.”
4. Teenagers are fun.
Jen and Chad also enjoy teenagers’ sense of fun and adventure. Elisha, whom they fostered for years before becoming his legal guardians, likes outdoor activities like camping, swimming and skateboarding. Jen, Chad and Elisha enjoy four-wheeling together.
It was fun for the Shins to seek out new experiences with Tyler, whom they fostered for a year. “We made a bucket list with him,” Natalie said, “We were listening to find what he might be interested in and invited him to try things we enjoyed.” Together, they tried different restaurants, and went to the zoo, ballet, family trips, camping, hiking and canoeing. Although Tyler, age 20, is no longer living with the Shins, he is still a part of their family; in fact, David is now teaching Tyler how to drive!
5. Teenagers need you.
The Shins were inspired to foster when they heard about the outcomes of teens who exit the foster care system without finding a permanent home. It’s estimated that 1 out of 5 foster children who “age out” of foster care will become homeless in their lifetime.
“This was a way to serve on a deeper level, to take a step back and prevent vulnerable youth from experiencing negative outcomes like homelessness,” Natalie said.
There is a great need for foster parents for teenagers in the Portland area; there are many teens who need the support of a caring and consistent adult in their lives. Fostering teenagers might bring life or schedule changes and challenges, but it’s a significant opportunity to make a difference in a teenager’s life — and in your own life, too.
“It’s really like opening yourself to a new relationship, a new friendship,” Jen said. “It’s worth it to get to know these kids. It’s enriched our lives a lot.”
Learn more about Boys & Girls Aid’s foster programs on our website or at an information session.
By Michelle Carew
September 2021