The Longing for Family Fulfilled

Nick and Kalei found their forever family in Laurie and Lori last June. Laurie decided to share their adoption story with us.

We wanted to be parents and we knew there were thousands of kids in foster care that need permanent safe, loving homes and we knew we could provide that.

We were at home together when we learned we had been matched with Nick and Kalei. We had been in matching for nearly two years and had gone to three committees but were never chosen as a match so it was a bit hard to believe. In hindsight all those disappointments served a purpose as we were matched with the kids we were supposed to be matched with. Going through it was very, very difficult, however. We were so excited (and scared) when we found out Nick and Kalei were a match!

We first talked on the phone with Nick and Kalei a couple days before we met them. Kalei was very shy and didn’t say much (which is NOT her personality as we now know it) and Nick was very well spoken. They both talked about how excited they were to be adopted by us. We created them each a family book to introduce them to our family, home, community, and schools. They both loved them! We also created a video tour of our house and neighborhood things and they loved the video as well. Kalei will still watch it on occasion. Our first meeting was at a park with their caseworker and grandpa near where they lived. It was awkward but exciting for all of us knowing that we would be a family. Kalei kept asking when she could make slime. We took the kids out to dinner that night and let them swim in our hotel pool. The next day we spent all day together, we went to a trampoline park, saw a movie, went out to eat, and went to a playground. The following day (Kalei’s birthday) we said good-bye to Nick and Kalei and we went back to our home (4 hours away) and the kids stayed with their grandpa a couple more nights and prepared to move. They were very eager to move in with us. Their Boys & Girls Aid Adoptive Family Recruitment Specialist brought them to our house two days later (on Nick’s birthday) and they moved in and the rest is history.

“We wanted to be parents and we knew there were thousands of kids in foster care that need permanent safe, loving homes and we knew we could provide that.”

Nick is 14 and just starting high school. He is very introverted and enjoys playing the drums, trumpet, reading, writing, and playing video games. We have been told by several people that they can’t believe Nick is only 14 as he is wise beyond his years. Kalei is the exact opposite of her brother in personality. She always likes to be doing and going. She enjoys singing, playing ice hockey, writing, acting, and so much more. She is willing to try most any new activity. We see a lot of ourselves in Nick and Kalei. Nick is very similar in personality to Laurie, while Kalei is very similar to Lori. We think it helps us both relate to and complement our kids.

We have learned so much as parents since the placement. We’ve learned flexibility. We’ve learned that it’s important to take breaks when you need it. We have learned what our limits are and know better when we're about to reach them. We are fortunate to have each other and when one person needs a break, the other is usually able to step in. We've learned that there are so many resources out there to help our kids be the best that they can be. We are a part of several foster/adopt Facebook groups that are so valuable in sharing information and experiences.

Helping Nick and Kalei feel safe and secure in our home has been hard. Helping them realize that this family is forever and they are not going anywhere. They are both very resilient kids and it’s remarkable the changes they’ve made in the last year.

Our hope is that Nick and Kalei grow up to be kind, hard-working people. We hope they continue to stay connected to their birth family as that bond is irreplaceable. Whatever career or education path they decide to take as adults, we will be behind them all the way. We want to give them as many experiences as we can whether that’s the opportunity to try a new sport or activity, travel somewhere or volunteer.

It's important to support children in foster care because they are there through no fault of their own. Most kids (especially older ones) long to be adopted but they may express it in the most unlikely way. Or they are afraid by letting an adoptive family in, they are pushing their birth family out. Embracing the relationship with birth family that is safe for kids in foster care is so vital.

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